Questioning The Sanity Of Magical Britain
by loverofeevee
Summary: Everyone has those moments where others think you're insane, but then, those who believe you to be insane will probably at one point do the exact same thing, just to see if they could do it better. Of course, an entire school doing this would turn heads, wouldn't it?


_You know, this was supposed to be a very small piece that I was planning on putting in Tilt Your Head And Squint, but I just couldn't stop writing!_

Questioning The Sanity Of Magical Britain

One day Harry decided that he was going to be in an insane mood. So, armed with this plan, he picked a random spot in Hogwarts, put on his best "this expression means I'm thinking really hard" face, and started knocking on bits of the wall. He would knock, put on one of three faces, then take a few steps either left or right, and repeat. If a knock had a slight difference in tone, he'd have a "this is curious" face on. If a knock sounded the same as the one before, unless the one before sounded different, then he'd have an "I'm pouting cause I expected more" face. And if the knock sounded completely different, like if he hit wood or glass instead of stone, then he'd pull an "ah ha!" face.

Luna Lovegood was skipping down the hall when she came across him tapping away at a spot just to the left of a statue. With a bright smile she hunkered down next to him and began knocking on the parts he missed, putting on the correct facial expression depending on what she heard. He gave her a grateful grin, pleased to have some help.

Fred and George had just finished a detention and were planning retaliation pranks when they almost fell over the younger pair. The red heads blinked in confusion, had a silent conversation, then shrugged and planted themselves at the opposite wall, one randomly tapping while the other fished out some parchment and a quill and, adopting the appropriate teacher mode expression, complete with conjured glasses, began noting down his twin's careful observations, making hmm'ing and ahh'ing noises every few minutes.

Harry and Luna simultaneously gave them a thumbs up, before turning back to their own wall.

Hermione stormed down the corridor, half angry and half frantic about the whereabouts of her black haired friend. She turned the corner to find the small exploration group working their way carefully around an alcove. Completely flabbergasted, she stood there for a moment with her mouth hanging open, before composing herself and demanding to know what in the world they were doing.

Fred tilted his glasses down and waved his notes in the air as if mocking her for not possibly knowing. She fumed and snatched them out his hand, reading over the scribbles before snorting and telling them they were wasting their time.

Harry had simply told her 'if that's how you feel then you don't need to stay', before ignoring her entirely. Growling Hermione spun round, intending on returning to her common room. She got three steps before once again glancing at the parchment she still had in her hand. Then, after a moment of standing there, she threw her hands in the air, stormed back, thrust the notes at Fred and swiped the little hammer George had conjured, sitting herself a little ways away from them before rapping the tool against a segment of the wall.

She chose to ignore their grins.

Ron had gone out looking for the others, a small part of him curious if they'd landed themselves in another adventure and left him out, while the rest just wanted help with his potions homework. He was barely upon them before Hermione grabbed his arm, yanked him down beside her, thrust a tiny hammer into his hand and told him to get to work.

After a reassuring glance to Harry, who nodded encouragingly, he figured this was one of those things friends did and started hitting the wall. Idly he realised that they could be looking for secret rooms full of treasure, and eagerly sped up hoping for a share of whatever they found.

Naturally, and since curiosity kills cats and not people, their odd behaviour prompted others who were about to stop and watch. Word soon spread, as it does in a school, and more people started turning up to see what was so fascinating. A few got it into their head that the group knew something they didn't. A few brave ones began to copy them, hoping to uncover something cool, while others did the same, except in the privacy of an abandoned corridor, just encase the Golden Trio had gone nuts and there wasn't some super secret hideaways. They didn't bother questioning Luna and the twins' sanity. A small part of them though inwardly felt that abandoned corridors were so for a reason, and thus the greatest secrets would be there instead of some frequently populated corridors, which made it all the better for checking there.

Soon, most of the ones who thought it all mad and had left the scene were now second guessing themselves, perhaps there was some hidden treasures, and they'd miss out on the harvest! Within hours almost the entire student population were scattered around the school, tapping at walls and peering behind tapestries. Some had even thought themselves clever enough to cast some detection spells, while others had adapted the twins note taking idea to help them uncover hidden doors, secretly thrilled at the idea of finding the treasure first, and being able to claim it for themselves.

The teachers soon found themselves investigating, having a hard time getting students to explain what they were looking for. Those in Gryffindor declared chances of finding rooms full of weapons and quidditch gear, Ravenclaw spoke of their hope of discovering rare books. Hufflepuff wanted an array of hidden animals and plants, while Slytherin boasted of being the first to uncover ritual sites allowing them power and riches.

Now the teachers knew there was far more to Hogwarts to meet the eye, and had even done some hunting while they themselves were students, hoping to earn some glory for them and their house for finding a rare artifact. It was in this thinking that some of the teacher began to offer rewards for any student who could find something or worth, hopeful that the younger generation could bring some fresh insight to the castle's many secrets.

It was the temptation of a reward that gave the remaining few students all the prompting they needed to get in on the act, and they hurried to an area that wasn't overly crowded to try their luck.

Some of the students had, in their usual way, sent word of this unusual behaviour to their parents. Be it mocking, or just casual conversation, said parents sat up and took notice. A treasure within Hogwarts, a treasure that the teachers so desperately wanted that they were willing to offer a reward for it. Perhaps even several treasures, and thus several rewards.

The adults were outraged that they were not in on the deal.

By late afternoon the castle was swarmed with angry or curious parents of all sorts, upset that they weren't allowed in on this rare opportunity to scavenge Hogwarts, or curious to see just what treasures she would cough up. Soon Aurors arrived, intending on ensuring that the chaos was controlled, though most were inching their way in and subtly shunting others away in their quest to find the best spot for a treasure hunt.

Behind the Aurors came the Unspeakables, whose sole purpose was to siphon away anything they deemed "unsafe" for general public. If an extra jewel or rare tomb somehow found its way into their hands, well all the better.

Naturally the Minister could not afford to be lax in this development, and in fact was leading the aurors in the hunt, his eye on something nice to fill his coffers. With him were the more prominent members of magical Britain, armed with potential laws and treaties to ensure that most of the treasure inevitably came to them.

Word soon reached the ears of the Dark Lord Voldemort, and with an evil grin he decided to put his hand into the ring and see what new secrets might be uncovered. He was also a little worried about the safety of his horcruxe.

Very few people even noticed his arrival, more interested in the treasure hunt, but that was ok, it gave him the chance to cause more chaos while doing a little searching of his own. And if a few people dropped dead on the way, then it was no skin off his…um.

Meanwhile, the Headmaster, a little bewildered at the unexpected surge, and unsure as to exactly how it began, worked his way into the folds to try to get the full story from anyone who was willing to tell it. By this point the rumor mill was working over time and no matter who he spoke to he couldn't get a helpful answer.

Naturally, having all those people crammed into even such a big place like Hogwarts, soon took its toll. Insults were thrown, fights started breaking out, curses began to fly. Soon people of all backgrounds were fighting tooth and nail for the prime spot.

Voldemort found it all very amusing, until some stray spell hit him in the back and knocked him senseless, and the surging crowds finished the job. Pity the one who'd thrown the spell would never know of his good deed, too busy head butting his neighbour out of the way of a fine patch of wall. Nor would the others who trampled the dreaded Dark Lord even care in the long run, too obsessed were they on cashing in on a long forgotten trove.

Harry cracked his back and stood, taking a moment for a good long stretch. It had been a very productive day, he thought.

'Decided to go back to being sane Harry?' Luna sweetly asked, standing and smoothing her skirt down.

Harry turned and gave her a bright grin.

'Sane?'

He indicated to the many people in the hallways, crammed into dark corners and nosying around forgotten classrooms.

'Nobody's sane these days'.

And with a cheery whistle he headed back to his common room to finish up some homework.


End file.
